MY FAVOURITE GAME OF ALL TIME JUST CAME OUT IN HD

Since I first played ICO almost a decade ago, I don't think I've ever gone more than a few months without replaying it. When I couldn't get my PAL PS2 working with my Japanese TV, I actually bought myself a Japanese copy of ICO and a second-hand Japanese PS2 to play it on. To this day, ICO is the only game I own for that Japanese PS2. Despite the title's brevity, despite the generally poor replayability of puzzle games, I am yet to get tired of this one. The atmosphere is still incredible, the tidbits of storyline are still maddeningly intriguing, and the ending is still magnificent.

As luck would have it, the HD remake came out in Japan on a day that everyone else in my lab was away at a conference, and while the only experiment I have to run is a distillation I can quite safely leave unsupervised for an afternoon. I'll give you one guess as to what I've been doing all afternoon instead.

Seriously though, I know the original version of ICO is still a hard game to track down in the States, and that a lot of people around here have therefore never played it. NOW IS YOUR CHANCE. DO NOT MISS IT. ICO IS AMAZING.

Like most kids, I heard about the story of Sadako and her paper cranes when I was in primary school. I've never been one to put much any faith whatsoever in superstition; obviously I've never actually believed that folding a thousand paper cranes will grant a wish. But I do like arts and crafts. So when I got a stack of 1000 pieces of origami paper for my 16th birthday, I thought I'd give the idea a shot.

Later that year, my mother was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. I decided I'd give the thousand cranes to her for her birthday, as the crane is often connected to ideas of health and longevity in Japanese culture. For the last ten years those thousand cranes have been hanging from the mantle above the old fireplace in her bedroom. But ten years is a long time for papercraft, and a few weeks ago I got an email from Mum saying that the cranes were filthy with dust, and several were falling apart, so she'd finally decided to pack them away in a box for safe keeping.

Two Tuesdays ago I came up with the idea of making her a replacement set. Her birthday is in early November, and it takes me less than a minute to fold a crane; there was plenty of time to make a thousand. That very afternoon I set off on a hunt to find some origami paper. This was surprisingly difficult considering I live in Japan. All the art stores I tried had beautiful, 20x20cm packets of about ten sheets, great for decorations but not for bulk cranes. Eventually I found what I was looking for at the hyaku-en (100 yen) shop: packets of three hundred 7.5x7.5cm sheets.

I took them home, sorted the colours out into 20 identical piles of 50 sheets, and bundled them up with hairbands, ready to fold.

Over the next 8 days I spent pretty much every free minute folding cranes. I folded cranes while monitoring experiments in the lab, while sitting through seminars, and while watching TV at home. Some days I made more progress than others, but it seemed like no time at all before I was done and ready to start stringing them up.

For this I used a needle to thread plain black cotton through the cranes from bottom to top, slotting them together and tying off the ends of each string with coloured glass beads. At the bottom of each chain I attached a 5 yen coin. I managed to scavenge most of these from the spare change jar my flatmate and I keep near the door of our apartment. The coins were pretty scummy and old, but after scrubbing them with some acetic acid from the lab they were shiny as new.

Two days later I was done making all twenty strings, and bought myself some flexible craft wire and masking tape to make a ring to hang them from. I had a near disaster when one bit of cotton got snagged and snapped, but I managed to grab the emancipated glass bead before it disappeared among the clutter in the living room and re-thread the cranes. Here's the finished product:

I've never tried using coins like this before, but I really like the way they clink together when there's a breeze, like a wind chime.

Next up I had to find a way to pack them; I carefully tied up the whole package in protective wrapping, then managed to bend it around into a giant postage box which I cushioned with every piece of bubble wrap I'd ever saved from old parcels.

Finally I took the whole lot down to the post office this morning, and sent them home by Air Mail. They'll probably arrive well before November, but I told Mum in an email not to open the box before her birthday. (On the customs slip I wrote "PAPER DECORATIONS" which hopefully won't give the game away.)

Now my only problem is that whenever I sit down to watch TV, I find my fingers are itching to be doing something.

Project statistics:

4 x 300 sheets of origami paper: 420 yen
40 glass beads: 2400 yen
20 5-yen coins: 100 yen
100ml acetic acid: free (from the lab)
2m flexible wire: 120 yen
1 roll coloured masking tape: 320 yen
30m (approx.) black cotton: free (from an old reel)
1 large postage box: 200 yen
Packing materials: free (recycled from other parcels)
Shipping by Air Mail to Australia: 4200 yen

Total project cost: 7760 yen

Total project time: 20-25 hours over ten days

Crane progress meter:

Yeah, I'm jumping on the bandwagon, but using a slightly different format. Artists I have more than three songs from are in the graph; artists I have three or less songs from are below it. (I haven't included all my random soundtracks and junk.)

Click the graph for a larger image if you're having trouble reading it.

Artists I have 3 songs from:

28 Days, The Bangles, Basement Jaxx, Beastie Boys, The Beautiful Girls, Beck, Björk, Blondie, Bob Dylan, Butthole Surfers, Christine Anu, Chuck Berry, Cyndi Lauper, Daft Punk, Elvis Presley, Eminem, Gyroscope, Hikaru Utada, Johnny Cash, Live, Men At Work, Missy Higgins, Nine Inch Nails, No Doubt, Pat Benatar, Phil Collins, Pink, The Police, Real McCoy, Rebecca's Empire, Robbie Williams, Run-D.M.C., Shirley Bassey, Skunkhour, Sonic Animation, The Superjesus, Talking Heads, Tina Turner, TLC, UB40, Village People, Wolfmother

Artists I have 2 songs from:

a-Ha, Ace of Base, Aerosmith, Al Green, Amiel, Aqua, Area-7, Bedlam, Belinda Carlisle, Billy Ocean, Bob Marley, Brandy, Bruce Springsteen, Bryan Adams, Buffalo Tom, The Butterfly Effect, Cake, Celine Dion, Charlie Feathers, Cog, The Cruel Sea, Culture Club, Custard, Dave Graney 'n' The Coral Snakes, Def FX, Diana Ah Naid, Dinosaur Jr, Dionne Warwick, Eagle Eye Cherry, Eels, Electric Six, Emiliana Torrini, Eurhythmics, Faith No More, Faker, Filter, Fine Young Cannibals, Frenzal Rhomb, George, George Michael, Good Charlotte, Groove Armada, The Herd, The Hives, James, James Brown, Jeff Buckley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Joe Cocker, John Lennon, Josh Pyke, Kisschasy, Kool & The Gang, Korn, Led Zeppelin, The Lemonheads, Letters to Cleo, Lifehouse, Limp Bizkit, Lit, Little Birdy, Macy Gray, Madness, Magic Dirt, Marvin Gaye, The Mavis's, Meiko Kaji, Moloko, Motor Ace, Nancy Sinatra, Nelly Furtado, Nickelback, Paul Colman Trio, Paul McCartney, Propellerheads, Puddle of Mudd, Pulp, Queens of the Stone Age, Rammstein, Ramones, Ray Charles, Robert Miles, Salt 'N' Pepa, Sarah Blasko, Seal, Semisonic, Sheena Easton, Sheryl Crow, Sinéad O'Connor, Skunk Anansie, Spectre General, Spin Doctors, Stan Bush, Steppenwolf, System of a Down, Tori Amos, Tracy Chapman, Unwritten Law, Urthboy, Van Morrison, Vengaboys, Violent Femmes, Ween, Weezer, Weird Al Yankovic, Wham!, Whitney Houston

Artists I have 1 song from:

3 Doors Down, The 5.6.7.8's, 78 Saab, Absolutely Fabulous, After the Fall, Agent Provocateur, Al Hirt, Alice Deejay, Alien Ant Farm, All-4-One, All Saints, Allen Ginsberg, American Hi-Fi, Ammonia, Angélique Kidjo, Angus & Julia Stone, Ani Difranco, Aretha Franklin, At The Drive In, Atomic Swing, The Avalanches, B-52's, B*Witched, Babybird, Babylon Zoo, Babyshambles, Bananarama, The Band, The Bees, Belly, Ben Harper, Berlin, Bernard Herrmann, Bif Naked, Big Audio Dynamite II, Big Mountain, Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes, Billy Idol, The Black Keys, Blessid Union of Souls, Blue Boy, Blue Swede, Bluejuice, Blueline Medic, Bo Diddley, Bobby McFerrin, BoDeans, Bodyjar, Bodyrockers, Bomfunk MC's, Bonnie Tyler, The Boomtown Rats, Bran Van 3000, The Bravery, The Breeders, Bright Eyes, Britney Spears, Buddy Holly, Buffalo Springfield, Buggles, Bush, Buzzcocks, The Byrds, C+C Music Factory, Cameo, The Cardigans, Carl Perkins, Carly Simon, Cher, Chicks On Speed, Chris Cornell, Chris Franklin, Christina Aquilera, Chumbawumba, Cody ChesnuTT, Cold War Kids, Colin Hay, The Commitments, Coolio, Cordrazine, Cornershop, Counting Crows, Crazy Town, Cream, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Crowded House, Culture Beat, Cut Copy, Cutting Crew, Dallas Crane, Dario G., Darren Hayes, Dashboard Confessional, Datarock, Dave Pike Set, David Gray, Dead or Alive, Deadstar, Deborah Conway, Decoder Ring, Deep Blue Something, Deftones, Delta Goodrem, Denis Leary, Depeche Mode, Derek and the Dominos, Devendra Banhart, Devo, Dexy's Midnight Runners, Diana Ross & Lionel Richie, Digitalism, Dogs Die in Hot Cars, Don Henley, Don McLean, The Doors, Eagles, Ed Kuepper, Eddie Cochran, Edwyn Collins, Eiffel 65, Elliott Smith, EMF, Endorphin, Enya, Epicure, Erasure, Eric Carmen, Eve 6, Everlast, Evermore, Faithless, Falco, Falling Joys, The Fauves, Fini Scad, Five, The Five Satins, A Flock of Seagulls, The Flying Lizards, Foreigner, The Foundations, The Freestylers, Frente!, Friendly, Front End Loader, Fuel, The Fugees, Fun Lovin' Criminals, Gabrielle, GANGgajang, Gary Jules, Gary Numan, Geggy Tah, General Public, George Baker, George Harrison, Gerling, Gladys Knight, Gloria Estefan, Go West, Goldfinger, Greenskeepers, The Grid, Groove Terminator, Grover Washington Jr., Haddaway, Hall & Oates, Hanson, Happyland, Hard 'n Phirm, Harry Nilsson, Harvey Danger, Headless Chickens, Herbie Hancock, Hive, Hole, Hoodoo Gurus, Hot Hot Heat, House of Pain, Imani Coppola, The Impressions, Insurge, Invertigo, INXS, Irene Cara, Itch-e & Scratch-e, J. Geils Band, Jackson Mendoza, The Jacksons, James Taylor, Jane's Addiction, Jesus Jones, Jewel, Jill Sobule, Jimi Hendrix, Jimmy Cliff, Joan Jett, Joe Tex, John Cougar Mellencamp, Josh Abrahams & Amiel Difranco, Josh Joplin Group, Joy Division, Juliana Hatfield, Junior Senior, Justice, Katrina and The Waves, KC and the Sunshine Band, Kick the Can Crew, Kid Rock, Kim Carnes, Kim Wilde, King Missile, Kiss, Kristin Hersh, L'Arc~en~ciel, L7, La Bouche, Len, Lenny Kravitz, Leonard Cohen, LeVert, Liam Lynch, Lighthouse Family, Lionel Richie, Lipps Inc., Los Del Rio, Lou Bega, Louis Armstrong, Loverboy, Lulu, Lunatic Calm, Lupe Fiasco, M.I.A., Madison Avenue, Malcolm McLaren, The Mamas & The Papas, Marcy Playground, Mariah Carey, Mark Campbell, The Mars Volta, Martha Reeves And The Vandellas, Martha Wainwright, Matt Monro, Matt Nathanson, Matthew Trapnell With Trapezoid, Max Sharam, Mazzy Star, MC Hammer, Meat Beat Manifesto, Men Without Hats, Meredith Brooks, Michael Franti and Spearhead, Michael Sembello, Midnight Juggernaughts, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Millencolin, Mindless Drug Hoover, Ministry, Missy Elliott, Monster Magnet, The Mountain Goats, Mr. Big, Mr. Mister, Mr. President, Muscles, Mylo, N.E.R.D., N.R.G., Nena, Nerf Herder, The New Order, New Radicals, Nick Barker, Nicki French, Nine Days, No Mercy, NOFX, Not From There, O-Zone, Offcuts, Olivia Newton John, OMC, OMD, Operator Please, OPM, Otis Redding, Our Lady Peace, The Panda Band, The Panics, Parodi Fair, Patsy Cline, Paul Engemann, Paul Kelly, Pauline Pantsdown, Paw, Penny Flanagan and the New Moon, Pennywise, Percy Sledge, Pete Murray, PJ Harvey, Planet Funk, Pnau, Poison, Pollyanna, Porno for Pyros, Portished, Pras, The Presets, The Proclaimers, Procol Harum, Quindon Tarver, R. Kelly, Ray Parker Jr., Redgum, Reef, Reel Big Fish, The Rembrandts, REO Speedwagon, Rhubarb, Rick James, Rick Springfield, Ricky Martin, Right Said Fred, Righteous Brothers, Rihanna, Rita Coolidge, Rob Zombie, Robert Palmer, Robin Williams, The Romantics, Ronan Keating, The Ronettes, Rozalla, Rupert Holmes, Sam Cooke, Sandy Rogers, Santana, Scatman John, Scorpions, The Screaming Jets, Scribe, The Seekers, Severed Heads, Sex Pistols, Shania Twain, Shivaree, Simon & Garfunkel, Simple Minds, Simple Plan, Single Gun Theory, Sixpence None the Richer, Skeewiff, Skin, The Sleepy Jackson, Soft Cell, Soko, Soul Asylum, The Spazzys, The Specials, Spiller, Starship, Stealers Wheel, Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel, Steve Winwood, Stevie Wonder, Stone Temple Pilots, The Stranglers, Styx, Superheist, Survivor, Swoop, t.A.T.u., Take That, Tal Bachman, Taxiride, Taylor Dayne, The Tea Party, Technohead, Tegan & Sara, The Temptations, Tenacious D, The Tenants, Testeagles, Tex Perkins, They Might Be Giants, Third Eye Blind, Tiffany, Tight Fit, Tism, Tom Cochrane, Tom Jones, Tommy Tutone, Tony Basil, Tool, Trio, Tripping Daisy, Tumbleweed, Ugly Kid Joe, Underground Lovers, The Undertones, Underworld, Urge Overkill, Us3, Van Halen, Vanessa Carlton, Vanilla Ice, The Vapors, Vertical Horizon, The Vines, Viola Wills, Vitamin C, The Von Bondies, The Waifs, The Wallflowers, Wang Chung, Warrant, Weather Girls, Westlife, Wheatus, White Zombie, The Who, Will Smith, The Wombats, Xavier Rudd, Yazz and the Plastic Population, Yes, Yothu Yindi

I mean, what the hell is this? Other than a CREEPY SMILING WORM??

The short version is that they're customisable eels. The long version begins, unsurprisingly, in Japan - and ends with Tumblr going slightly crazy over "eeljinka", a portmanteau of 'eel' and 'gijinka' (anthropomorph).

This is where it all comes from: the anago maker. For reasons unknown, you can use this site to design an eel. Because the internet loves to take a simple idea and run a hundred miles with it, you are then supposed to make a human version of that eel.

I was confused. Tumblr was in love.

But then my housemate went to Slovenia for the week, and since I promised not to watch any more Fringe until she gets back, I needed something to do to unwind my brain after a day in the lab.

I got on IRC and asked some friends to design eels for me, so that I could take a crack at this eeljinka business. (I figured it would be more of a challenge to work from someone else's design.) Here are my first two attempts:

Weirdest internet craze I've seen all month? Definitely. But it's also turned out to be quite a lot of fun as a creative exercise.

I'm still not entirely sure how clothes are supposed to work in winter. I mean, in real winters, the kind that actually get cold and require wearing more than a t-shirt and hoodie. In Cambridge I spent most days of the week bundled up in layers of sports kit because I spent most mornings at rowing training. In Japan I usually resort to layers, too - at least one set of long thermal underwear beneath whatever else I'm wearing.

I somehow feel like I'm Doing It Wrong, though. That there has to be a better solution than trussing myself up like the Michelin Man. Because I find that whenever I catch up with friends in spring or summer, they ask, "Have you lost weight?" I haven't - my weight has been a steady 60ish kg since I was a teenager - so I can only assume that the cocoon of clothing I live in between November and March makes me look larger than I am.

Other people don't look fatter in winter. What's their secret?

Because jeans just are not warm enough for commuting by bicycle through the snow. Even jeans with thermal leggings underneath are just bearable rather than comfortable. If I don't wear four or five layers of tops I get cold, even with my big woolen coat. Is there some special material that nobody's telling me about? Some kind of magical jeans-substitute that I could survive in without extra layers? Am I supposed to go around wearing my snowboarding pants all winter? Am I just unusually pathetic in my inability to tolerate cold weather?

I'm only half-joking, here. I seriously went out shopping on the weekend to look for warm but somewhat fashionable winter clothing. (My definition of "somewhat fashionable" here is "anything that doesn't make me look like a five-year-old with overprotective parents on their first trip to the snow".)

I did have one idea that I've never tried before in my life: long skirts. Surely with a long skirt I could wear as many layers of leggings as I liked, with no-one the wiser.

My problem here is that I'm not a skirt-person. Not that kind of skirt-person, anyway. I only own two kinds of skirts: formal wear, and miniskirts. This is actually progress for me; back in high school I refused to wear skirts ever as a matter of principle. (I don't know what principle, exactly; I was a teenager and it seemed important at the time.)

These days I've managed to adjust to the idea of dressing up in a skirt for a black tie dinner. I also own several denim miniskirts that I've gotten used to wearing interchangeably with shorts in the summer. But while I can understand how a long casual skirt works in principle, while I can see how it is supposed to work and looks good on other women, putting one on myself is a different matter entirely.

I did in fact buy myself a calf-length, grey-patterned skirt on the weekend. I brought it home and left it in its shopping bag by the end of the sofa while I distracted myself with the internet. I had almost forgotten about it entirely by the time my flatmate got home and asked what I'd been out shopping for.

"I bought a skirt," I blurted out before I could stop myself. Of course Anna wanted to see it, and I felt an instant of terror that took me right back to high school and the days that I wore nothing but trackie pants and Pokemon t-shirts because I was so hopeless at understanding clothes I figured it was easier to avoid mockery by making it obvious that I wasn't trying to look good and didn't care. Apparently all those insecurities about fashion never actually go away; all it takes is one attempt to branch out into unfamiliar clothing to bring them rushing back. I steeled myself, muttered some excuses about having picked the skirt up mostly on a whim, and handed it to Anna.

To my immense relief, she loved it. I babbled through my explanation of cold winters and the necessity for lots of leggings and she agreed with me, even said she'd been meaning to get some new winter skirts herself. I had to laugh at myself for getting so worried about a freaking skirt.

My next hurdle, of course, was summing up the willpower to actually go outside wearing the thing.

And here's where things get weird: I'm usually pretty shameless when it comes to clothing. I've been across the road to my local 7-11 in everything from a full-body Pikachu suit to summer "pyjamas" which leave basically nothing to the imagination. I've dressed up in all manner of weird costumes and never thought twice about going out in public. Why on earth was the idea of wearing a very normal, apparently nice-looking skirt making me nervous when I had no qualms about dragging my labmates to the beach and going swimming in my underwear at a conference last month?

Today presented a perfect opportunity: my English class has invited me to an early bonenkai lunch party at a local restaurant, for which something slightly nicer than my usual jeans and t-shirt would be appropriate. I got up this morning and put on my new skirt. I spent ten minutes trying to choose which top to wear with it. I spent another ten minutes walking aimlessly back and forth around my apartment, talking to Anna about nothing in particular. Finally she burst out laughing and asked me, "Kiera, are you avoiding going out in your new skirt?"

And okay, yes, maybe I was. A bit. Because there's something about seeing myself looking so traditionally feminine that I just cannot reconcile with my self-image. I get that the skirt looks fine. I get that what I'm wearing looks good. But I look in the mirror and I don't see me, I see someone dressed up as a woman I don't recognise. I'm not this kind of skirt-person, and I can't get over the cognitive dissonance.

Finally I dragged myself off to the lab, and had to bite my tongue when I walked past a fellow student on my way in. I was probably just imagining the double-take he did. Even if I wasn't, it probably wouldn't be polite of me to snap "WHAT?" at the poor guy. I probably shouldn't be so ridiculously self-conscious about the idea of wearing a damn skirt in the first place. And I'm totally not sitting at my desk reading journals and writing this just so I don't have to stand up and walk around in my skirt.

But hey, I got used to the idea of dressing up in feminine clothes for formal events; I can get used to this, goddammit. At least I'm not cold.

In the meantime, if anyone can offer me any alternative winter clothing solutions, I'm all ears.

I have nothing planned for this occasion and I don't know what to say, but I feel like I should give something back to the community. I suppose could do requests. For photos, drawings, answers to whatever questions you care to ask. I make no promises about the quality of my responses, but I'm in the mood to do what I can.

(Obviously this excludes anything against IGN's rules.)

This post contains spoilers for both games, read at your own risk!

I've made no secret of the fact that I don't play games for their storylines.

The specific wording of that sentence is deliberate: I don't play games for their storylines, but I don't have a problem with games that have storylines. Occasionally I even find myself thoroughly enjoying a video game's story. And every once in a while, I get so hooked that I end up obsessing for months, debating story points over pages and pages of heated forum posts. The kind of obsessing that involves notebooks full of details from game scripts and interviews and going through cutscenes frame-by-frame.

(We will not be discussing how many hours of my life have been spent in contemplation of Metal Gear Solid 2.)

My obsession with ICO was never that powerful simply because there wasn't enough storyline to obsess over. Don't get me wrong; I thought that was marvellous. I loved how so much was left open to interpretation, how you could let your imagination run wild with the possibilities. But since there were never any definitive answers, discussions online mostly boiled down to:

"Hey, here's my idea."
"That's a nice idea! Here's my different idea."
"That's cool too!"
"......"
"......"

There was nothing to debate because nothing could be proved. All theories about ICO were doomed to remain theories forever. Even when Shadow of the Colossus came out, the creators explicitly stated that there was no direct story link between the two games, depriving fans of the ability to use evidence from one to discuss the canon of the other. That didn't stop us from speculating; I just wanted to point out that what follows is pure speculation, and while it's a theory that I believe fits the canon, it's just for fun. It's nothing more than my personal head-canon. I first posted a version of this theory online in March 2006, but figured now that more people have played the HD versions of both games it would be worth sharing again.

We all know the basics of SotC: our protagonist Wander seeks the help of Dormin to reanimate his girlfriend Mono, who was "sacrificed for she has a cursed fate". Dormin is an evil spirit that was sealed away in the distant past, its soul split into sixteen pieces that were scattered about the Forbidden Land. These soul-pieces are contained in and guarded by colossi that seem to be the land itself come to life; after being defeated they lose their forms and collapse into unremarkable rubble.

As each colossus is defeated, its piece of Dormin's soul bursts out in the form of light-limned black tentacles. They plunge into Wander's body, and it's pretty clear that all this tentacle penetration comes with some negative side effects. Wander's skin fades, his hair darkens, and after every battle he wakes up with another shadow-man standing over him. After defeating the final colossus, Wander even wakes up sporting the colossus' horns and bright blue eyes.

So the freed pieces of Dormin's soul are gathering in Wander's body and using him as a vessel. So far, so obvious. Thankfully Emon and his gang show up to destroy Dormin just in time. As a bittersweet twist, Mono wakes up at the end: Dormin kept its promise! And even Wander survives, regressed into an infant! Happy endings all around!

But there are a bunch of hints that things aren't actually this simple.

One thing that stands out from the beginning is that Dormin speaks with two voices: one male and one female. They say all the same words at the same time, but there is no mistaking the fact that Dormin seems to be two beings in one. You can hear it for yourself in every cutscene...

...except at the end of the game.

After Wander is shot, stabbed, and colossified, Dormin speaks through his new body using only his male voice. Check it out here.

So what happened to Dormin's female half?

It's impossible not to notice that after every defeated colossus, one extra shadow-man appears looming over Wander's prone form in the temple. Less noticeable is that at the same time, for every colossus defeated, one extra dove appears by Mono.

The obvious conclusion that the shadow-men and doves represent the two opposing natures of Dormin: male and female, dark and light. Remember also that whenever a colossus is defeated, the tentacles that spew out of it are black surrounded by light (see an example here). And yet just as Wander-Dormin speaks only with a male voice, he seems to be made only of darkness; there's no hint of the glowy blue-white energy seen alongside the darkness in so many other parts of the game.

Dormin didn't keep its promise. It used Mono's body just as it used Wander's. Dormin's two opposite halves found a way to each gain their own bodies, and Dormin's female half was smart enough not to show her cards until after Emon had left the building.

Male-Dormin is therefore apparently defeated and destroyed, leaving Mono-Dormin with the whole Forbidden Land to herself. The only sign that male-Dormin ever existed is in the horns on infant-Wander's head; clearly the baby has some vestige of male-Dormin's power, but not enough to actually corrupt more than his physical appearance.

And here's where things get really speculative:

Mono-Dormin realises she can make use of the power remaining in infant-Wander. Moreover, with male-Dormin's power shredded and scattered across the land, it's only a matter of time before other babies are influenced by it and born with horns. It wouldn't be hard to start a rumour that such boys are cursed, and should be exiled, say, to the Forbidden Land. Rumour becomes legend, superstition becomes ritual, the Forbidden Land is flooded... and unknown centuries later, we have Ico being locked up in a castle so that the Queen can absorb his life energy.

The best bit about this whole story is that it's a self-fulfilling prophecy: Mono did indeed have a cursed fate, but it only came to pass because she was killed in an attempt to prevent it. (Note that Wander even uses the present tense when he brings Mono's corpse to Dormin: she has a cursed fate.)

I can't prove I'm right, but my theory does fit all the evidence.

And here's a nifty bonus: while looking up some of the game's Japanese dialogue I found a fascinating idea on this blog about the legend of the Forbidden Land as recounted by Emon at the beginning of the game. Here's the legend:

That place... began from the resonance of intersecting points...
They are memories replaced by ens and naught and etched into stone.
Blood, young sprouts, sky--
and the one with the ability to control beings created from light...
In that world, it is said that if one should wish it one can bring back the souls of the dead...
...But to trespass upon that land is strictly forbidden...

And here's the interpretation that blew my mind:
The "intersecting points" are pixels. "Ens and naught" are the ones and zeroes of digital data, which are "etched into stone" on the game's disc. (In Japanese the phrase is "burnt into stone", using the same verb as for burning a CD or DVD.) Blood, plants and sky are red, green and blue - RGB colours. The player is a person who can manipulate "beings created from light" (game characters on the screen). And in the game you can revive your protagonist as many times as you want.

The legend of the Forbidden Land is about the video game itself.

SotC is so meta.

I blame my housemate entirely for this one.

A few weeks ago she went to Slovenia for a conference. When she came back and started unpacking, the first thing she did was throw a book at me.

"Read this," she said. "Read this so I can talk to you about it, and because there's a movie coming out next year, and this is NOT a story you want spoiled by the internet." I was halfway through a Star Wars book at the time, but I promised to put it next on my list.

The Hunger Games is set in a dystopian future: the nation of Panem, in what used to be the USA, consists of twelve outlying districts and an oppressive Capitol. Sometime in the past, the districts tried and failed to rebel. As punishment, every year each district must provide a male and female "tribute" between the ages of 12 and 18 to fight to the death in the Hunger Games. These are televised for the Capitol's entertainment, and to keep the districts living in fear and despair.

It's impossible not to draw parallels to Battle Royale, which I've always had mixed feelings about. But Anna and I share a lot of reading material, and I trusted her judgement enough to give her the benefit of the doubt on this one. Last Thursday afternoon I read through the first two chapters. I was struck at once by how simplistic the writing style seemed, but even so it only took a handful of pages for me to be intrigued by the characters and the world they lived in.

When I picked the book up again on Friday evening, I literally could not put it down until I finished it. The Hunger Games knows damn well how to build and keep suspense; it's been a long time since I've been enthralled enough by a book to devour it whole like that. Even when you can see the plot twists coming, they pack a punch - and the ones I didn't see coming were just awesome.

I soon got used to the style, too. The protagonist has spent most of her life with no time to think of anything but keeping her family alive, so the straightforward manner of her first person narrative suits her perfectly. And for all Katniss' ruthless pragmatism, her matter-of-fact observations are used brilliantly to show the stark differences between the decadence of the Capitol and the abject poverty of her home, as well as the sheer brutality of the Hunger Games. I was seriously impressed by the way a style I initially dismissed as "simplistic" was used to paint such a vivid picture.

This is to say nothing of my love for Katniss as a character. I can't go into detail without spoilers, and that's probably a good thing, because otherwise I'd be gushing for hours. I've made no secret of the fact that I love strong, independent female characters. Katniss certainly has her flaws and vulnerabilities, but she's self-reliant, self-possessed, and pretty damn self-aware for a 16-year-old. The other characters are wonderfully three-dimensional people with full lives of their own, and all of this takes place in a well-realised, very believable fictional world.

In short, The Hunger Games is an awesome book. Anna lent me the sequel on Sunday morning, and I had finished that by Sunday afternoon. Now I'm biting my nails waiting for her to finish the final part of the trilogy so I can borrow that.

The movie looks like it's going to be pretty fantastic, too.

So today is Skyward Sword day in Japan. Yes, Japan actually got the game after everyone else in the world - try not to gloat too hard about that. Or about the fact that I've had my copy sitting in my bag since I picked it up at lunchtime, and won't be able to play it until I get home from work tonight.

I've managed to remain almost completely spoiler-free, but from the few mutterings I have caught it sounds like this game is going to be fantastic. I was a relative latecomer to the Zelda series - my first was Ocarina of Time - but I still got in early enough to experience the magic that made so many of us fans for life.

I'm sure every Zelda fan has a slew of anecdotes about their experiences with the series, everything from the hilarious to the epically facepalm-worthy. I just wanted to share a few of my own.

The Wind Waker, old Hyrule
The Wind Waker was one of the first games I imported from Japan. I'd just gotten a Panasonic Q for my 18th birthday, and while our home TV couldn't display NTSC games in colour, nothing was going to prevent me from playing Zelda three glorious months early. I put up with the monochrome world well enough until the first time I made the trip down to old Hyrle, under the sea... but I decided I just had to see that bit in colour. I spent four whole days sitting on my hands, refusing to go any further in the game, until I could take my Q to my grandparents' house on Sunday and play in colour on their newer TV.
Those of you who've played The Wind Waker know where this is going: that first trip to old Hyrule is in fact the only part of the game that is actually in black and white. I would have cried if I hadn't been laughing so hard.

Ocarina of Time, the Water Temple
I'm sure everyone who's ever played a Zelda game has a Water Temple story. Most are tales of woe and epic frustration with the infamous "missing key". Mine goes a little differently:
My original run through OoT was interrupted by my first trip to Japan, right when I was in the middle of the Water Temple. While I was away, my brothers apparently couldn't resist having a go at playing my file. Initially I was livid; these were the days before save file duplication, and if they'd played ahead it would mean I'd missed parts of the game, which was just not on.
Then they told me, "Yeah, we didn't actually get anywhere though. You fucked up the Water Temple. There aren't enough keys." Of course it took me about twenty minutes of methodically scouring the temple to find the "missing" key. It wasn't until much, much later that I became aware of the hilarious irony of actually benefitting from the Water Temple's fiendish design.

Oracle of Ages, tile puzzles
Oracle of Ages had several instances of a kind of puzzle that I always loved in 2D Zelda games: to unlock a door, or reveal a chest, you would have to navigate Link once and only once over every tile in the room. Crossing your path or retracing your steps would reset everything. These puzzles generally only took me a couple of tries to solve... until I found one that was impossible.
I spent half an afternoon trying to work it out on my Game Boy, and then realising I was wasting battery power, I actually copied the layout of the room out onto a piece of paper in pen so I could try tracing out routes in pencil. I tried every conceivable method for literally hours, but somehow I was always, always stuck with one square left over. It simply couldn't be done, I was certain of it. There was no possible way to walk over every square in the room.
As it turned out, I was right. The trick to solving the puzzle was to use the Cane of Somaria to create a block on the one leftover square.

Ocarina of Time, the showdown with Ganon
I loved the trading sidequest in OoT, and as soon as I got my hands on the Biggoron Sword it never left my side. It was, after all, far more powerful than the Master Sword - Evil's Bane, my arse. When Ganon knocked my Master Sword away from me in the final battle, I just shrugged and pulled out my Biggoron Sword to beat the crap out of him.
Again, you can probably guess where this is going.
When Zelda threw my Master Sword back to me halfway through the battle, I sneered and switched back to the obviously superior Biggoron Sword. I continued as I had been fighting: hitting Ganon in the face with Light Arrows then slashing at his tail. I'm not sure how many times I did this before I ran out of magic and had to use normal arrows. Eventually I ran out of those, but by that point I had the timing down so perfectly that I could use my hookshot to smack Ganon on the nose and roll between his legs to his tail. I had to admit I was starting to get suspicious that something was wrong: surely no boss should take this long to defeat. By this point all my brothers were in the room watching my epic showdown.
I'm not sure how long it took for someone to suggest that the SWORD OF EVIL'S BANE might in fact be better for defeating evil, despite it's relative weakness.

Majora's Mask, the Couple's Mask
Before I even attempted to get the Couple's Mask in MM, my brothers had looked up a guide online and declared the quest impossible to solve without one. Being me, I took this as a challenge. Being me, I also started obsessively writing down every single detail in the game that my imagination could manage to connect in some convoluted way to Anju or Kafei. In some corner of my mind, I probably suspected I was grossly overestimating the complexity of the quest - but I still wrote everything down just in case. I would sit on the floor in front of the TV surrounded by pages of scrawled handwriting, pausing every fifteen seconds to meticulously add to my notes.
By the time I got that damn mask, I swear to god I could have written a short book about Anju and Kafei's lives.

Zelda merchandise and ONM UK
When I was an undergrad I'd always buy the UK's Official Nintendo Magazine for the free stuff. Usually it was only token junk like fold-out posters or wristbands, but I couldn't resist. ONM UK also gave me the opportunity to ogle the official merchandise you could send away for, but this would always leave me disappointed: the smallest size their t-shirts came in was, withough exception, a men's medium. I wear a women's small to medium, and while I love Nintendo, I don't like wearing clothing that hangs off me like a potato sack.
It was an awesome Zelda t-shirt I saw in one issue that was the final straw. I took out a pen and paper and actually wrote a letter expressing my frustration, complete with a sketch of Wind Waker Link wearing a t-shirt that hung down to his knees and looking despondent about it. I didn't really expect results; I just wanted someone, somewhere, to know that not everyone who wants Nintendo t-shirts is fat and male.
In the next issue, the exact same Zelda t-shirt was available in small. I don't know if I had anything to do with that, but I sent off a cheque on the spot. I still have the t-shirt.

---

So, what are your best and worst Zelda memories? What experiences have you had with the series over the last 25 years? I'll show you mine if you show me yours That's what she said

(Oh, and I'm sure this goes without saying, but if you spoil this game for me I will hunt you down and open your throat with my teeth.)

Yesterday afternoon a complete stranger tried to pick me up in a sex shop. When I mentioned how creepy this was, I got quite a range of replies. (Since I apparently can't be taken at my word when I say someone was being creepy, the full details of what happened are here.) I started writing some responses, but my thoughts ended up covering some far broader ideas than that one specific incident, so I've given them their own blog post.

To clarify: while this post was triggered by what happened yesterday, it's not just about one isolated incident. It's about the general inappropriateness of soliciting sex from strangers, and other kinds of creepy behaviour.

Warning: Srs Bsns ahead.

1. Going to a sex shop doesn't make you creepy.

I'm hoping assuming that the comments that implied otherwise were jokes. Because seriously, this is the twenty-first century, not the nineteenth. Normal people go to sex shops. On a Sunday afternoon in Tokyo, I bumped into at least two dozen other customers. Most were couples shopping together. There were about as many women as men. There is nothing creepy about sex shops.

2. There's a time and a place.

There are things we do, places we go, when we want to meet people. At a bar, at a club, at a party, you can reasonably assume that the other people there are open to the idea of socialising. Some may even be open to the idea of casual sex. In such situations, it wouldn't be unreasonable to start a conversation with someone to find out if they are.

You know when I'm not out looking for casual sex? When I'm going about my everyday life, minding my own business. When I'm shopping, or eating lunch, or on the train, or walking home. If you approach me with obvious sexual intentions under those circumstances, I'm going to get pissed off. It's not flattering, it's rude and invasive and creepy.

3. "I like sex" is not an invitation.

I consider myself a sex positive person. This means I believe sex and sexual pleasure are healthy and fun. It means I believe any sexual activity between consenting adults is one hundred percent okay. It means I think sex and sexual interests are nothing to be ashamed of.

It does not mean that I'm interested in sex with any man who offers. It does not change the fact that it's rude and invasive and creepy to approach me with sexual intentions when I'm going about my private life.

Approaching a woman because she's in a sex shop is just as seedy as approaching a woman because she's browsing the condom section in a supermarket, or approaching a woman because she's picking up her prescription for contraceptive pills in a pharmacy. Evidence that I like and am interested in sex is not evidence that I'm looking for casual sex or open to sexual propositions by total strangers.

4. Yes, it's a big deal.

The other day I read a paragraph on tumblr (taken from here) that pretty much perfectly sums up why:

Like most women, I currently live in a society where violence, harassment and scary shit can break out at any moment, just because I told some random asshole "no" without bothering to be nice about it. Doing that is so dangerous that most women don’t dare; after a few scary incidents, they learn to make up excuses, to smile, to be sweet and welcoming, to act as if every single random asshole on the street is a precious new friend that they would just LOVE to stand outside of the Chipotle and chat with FOR HOURS, if only cruel fate had not intervened. That’s what it’s actually like, being a woman: Playing nice with every random asshole, because this random asshole might be the one who hurts you. And then, if he hurts you anyway, they’ll tell you that you led him on.

This paragraph speaks to me, and speaks the truth. When a total stranger acting shifty as hell comes over and asks for my name while obviously undressing me with his eyes, my first reaction isn't, "Leave me alone, you creep!" My first reaction is panic. I don't know who this guy is, I don't know what he might be capable of, and I don't know how he'll react if I tell him, "No."

This is why being propositioned by strangers while I'm going about my personal life is creepy as well as rude and invasive. On several occasions I've been harassed by men who have genuinely made me feel unsafe. Not long after I moved to Japan a man followed me around a shopping centre for almost half an hour, then followed me outside the shopping centre asking questions that were progressively more personal and sexual. I was already feeling vulnerable; I was in an unfamiliar city in an unfamiliar country with an unfamiliar language. It was a weekday afternoon, it was raining, and there wasn't a single other person in sight. It was all I could do to keep up a pretense of polite refusals to his offers to drive me somewhere so we could "play" while frantically searching for my bicycle. I didn't dare tell him to fuck off, because I was terrified of how he might react.

Anything that makes me feel it's unsafe to go about my everyday life is a big deal, goddammit. And if you don't see why sexually propositioning a stranger while she's just trying to go about her life might make her feel unsafe, put yourself in her shoes.

5. I have every right to be offended.

I'm fully aware that creepers exist. I'm never going to touch a drink that's been left unattended. I'm never going to get drunk without being with a group of friends I can trust. I'm never going to take unnecessary risks just to prove a point about how I think people should behave.

But I am never, ever going to simply accept those risks as being "part of life" and ignore the mentalities that perpetuate them. I'm still going to be pissed off if someone tries to take advantage of me when I'm drunk. I'm still going to be angry if some creep follows me around a shopping centre. I'm still going to be offended every time someone treats me as an object, or is sexist, or is rude and invasive and creepy.

Because yes, I have the right to go about my life and be treated politely. Yes, I expect others to behave like civilised human beings. And if you don't - if you're the sort of person who says "You were in a sex shop, what did you expect?" - then you're exactly the sort of enabler that allows this bullshit status quo to persist.

Okay, I'm done.

One for each type. I find I draw a lot more when I'm procrastinating, and these were nice diversions from writing my thesis. I'd planned to pick only Pokemon I've never drawn before, but I couldn't resist including some favourites. Click for full size.

Okay, I can't for the life of me figure out a way to change my header, so in the meantime I'm just going to post the new one here. I've added and changed a several things since the first one I uploaded; here's the new and improved version:

As always, I actually drew the header at a much higher resolution, then shrank it down for my blog. You can see a larger version with more detail here.

As for what the hell all those things in the header actually are (click for larger image):

1. Cadbury Creme Egg

2. Axel, Kingdom Hearts series

3. Roy Mustang, Fullmetal Alchemist

4. Estonian, UK, Japanese and Australian flags

5. Mug in Cambridge Blue, with the King's College crest

6. Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Thrawn), Star Wars

7. L, Death Note

8. Sherlock Holmes, as portrayed in the BBC's Sherlock

9. Bundaberg Rum

10. Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

11. Patapon

12. Heather Mason, Silent Hill 3

13. Susuwatari, from various Ghibli films

14. The Witch, Left 4 Dead

15. Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney

16. Xenomorph, Alien series

17. Ezio Auditore da Firenze, Assassin's Creed series

18. The Prince, Katamari series

19. Katamari, Katamari series

20. Blade in KCBC colours

21. The Doctor in the TARDIS, Doctor Who

22. Catch-22

23. Simba, The Lion King

24. Ico, ICO

25. Liquid Snake, Metal Gear Solid

26. Rubber duck

27. Bayonetta, from the eponymous game

28. Vergil, Devil May Cry 3

29. Weighted Companion Cube, Portal

30. Marvel's Loki, as seen in Thor

31. Star Wars Books

32. Yorda, ICO

33. Bind spell, Eternal Darkness

34. Pikmin, from the eponymous series

35. Nathan Drake, Uncharted series

36. Castle Crashers poster I got at Tokyo Game Show 2009

37. Me!

38. Link, The Legend of Zelda series

39. Muse tshirt I bought at Glastonbury 2004 during their Absolution tour

40. PlayStation 3 controller

41. Pikachu, Pokemon franchise

42. Nintendo 3DS

43. Flying penguin

44. LocoRoco

45. University of Tsukuba building

46. Serenity, Firefly

47. Organic chemistry textbooks

48. Chemistry equipment

49. Kisuke Urahara, Bleach

Okay, this isn't much of a guessing game. I'm just looking for an excuse to show off my new baby. He arrived this morning, and he is gorgeous.

Unfortunately soon after I brought him home from the hospital video game shop I had to leave him at home to charge (while I went out to FedEx his brother and sister to a certain entertainment website's San Francisco office). I spent the afternoon in Tokyo desperate to get home to him. I even bought him some toys to play with, like the good parent I am.

At this point I think I should drop the baby metaphor before it gets creepy. I had a brief chance to try out a Vita at Tokyo Game Show three months ago, and I liked it. I like handhelds in general because I do a lot of travelling, and there are games on the Vita that I want to play; for me that was enough to warrant a purchase. Thankfully I live out in the inaka so getting my hands on a few preorders was no big deal.

Anyway, I haven't done much with the system yet - I literally just switched it on and went through setting up the basics. I got stuck in a weird loop for a minute where the Vita would ask, "Do you want to use your PSN account on this Vita?" and I would say, "Yes," and the Vita would say, "You need to perform a system update first," and I would say, "OK," and the Vita would ask, "Do you want to use your PSN account on this Vita?"

Finally I just said "No," and connected to PSN with trial settings so I could get the damn system update. (Not sure how a brand new console needs an update out of the box, but anywho.)

I was then subjected to a few minutes of some sort of Vita promotional video. Really Sony? Really? I've already bought the damn thing, now you're just showing off.

And now I'm trying to decide whether to mess with the console itself, or get stuck into Uncharted or Katamari straight away.

This disjointed blog post has been brought to you by a mind somewhat fractured by a restless night due to pre-Vita excitement, a morning of frantic organisation in order to split a $2000 shopping list between four people, and a 4-hour round trip to FedEx.

I guess I'll have more details once I've had some proper fun with this little guy.

Edit: I'll never get used to memory cards this small. (Also, they're packaged very, very securely. It took me a full two minutes to dig this bastard out of its plastic packet.)

Look, it's a sexy piece of hardware. There's no denying that. I haven't even tried out half the shit that came installed on my Vita, but as far as I can tell everything works as advertised. So while a lot of the rest of this post may sound pretty negative, that's mainly because I'm not the sort of person to sit and gush over things that work like they should. This post turned out to be more of a list of problems I've had so far with the Vita, but please don't let that lead you to believe I'm unhappy. Overall I'm still loving the console.

First up, the touch screen is sensitive and pretty and, yes, a fingerprint magnet. That said, I only ever notice those fingerprints once I switch my Vita off. Unless you manage to get a bright light reflected at just the wrong angle, they aren't distracting during gameplay. If you're fussy or paranoid, get a screen protector. They don't cost much. And the Vita's screen isn't inset like the touch screen on the (3)DS, so I'm assuming grime buildup around the edges won't be a problem here.

But while I have no gripes with the touch screen itself, I have a lot of whinging to do about its implementation in Uncharted. Need to cut down some bamboo? Use the machete, WITH THE TOUCH SCREEN! Need to reach a higher ledge? Give Chase a leg-up, WITH THE TOUCH SCREEN! Sick of actually controlling Drake with the analogue stick? Just draw a path for him to follow, WITH THE TOUCH SCREEN! Drake also has a sudden new obsession with making charcoal rubbings, which is nifty the first two, maybe three times you do it. But when you need to rub an old sword in six different places (does that sound dirty to anyone else?) and the game is telling you you're 99% done and you can't figure out where the microscopic speck you've missed is, yeah, it's a pain in the arse.

This is to say nothing of the Quick Time Events, which I hate under most circumstances but which are doubly annoying when they involve having to take my hands off the rest of the controls. (What's worse than one boss fight consisting entirely of touch screen QTEs? TWO boss fights consisting entirely of touch screen QTEs! I wish I were exaggerating.)

The other game I bought, Touch My Katamari, doesn't seem to have fallen for the same burning need to use the touch screen all the damn time, thank god.

(Edit: Since a few people have asked, you can actually control most of Uncharted with traditional controls. It's only for certain context-sensitive actions and events that you NEED to use the touch screen.)

The touch pad, I have mixed feelings about. I think there's some fantastic potential for control options there, I really do. But there's one significant downside: I find that my natural grip on the Vita involves resting my fingers on the touchpad.

This meant that getting into situations where I suddenly had to use the touch pad could cause problems. For example, the touch pad is used to control zoom for the sniper rifle and camera in Uncharted. It's a little hard to remember to get my fingers out of the way before pulling out my sniper rifle in the middle of a pitched firefight, and that leads to the zoom jumping all over the place as I realise my mistake and frantically try to adjust my grip.

On the other hand, there were several touch pad uses that I enjoyed in Uncharted - particularly paddling canoes. It felt simple, natural and intuitive to control the canoe paddles with finger strokes, and being able to do so without obscuring the screen was pretty awesome. Katamari also uses the touch pad, but only for three distinctive gestures that it's pretty hard to do by accident. So my final conclusion is that the awkwardness of holding the Vita with my fingers off the touch pad makes it a bit iffy for fine control, but it's fantastic for simpler gestures.

I haven't played around with the cameras much yet. I tried having a go at one of the incredibly patronising "Welcome Park" minigames, but after four failed attempts to take pictures of objects that the software would recognise as faces, I gave up. The pictures themselves turned out okay, though. And there was one puzzle in Uncharted that used the cameras in a pretty ingenious way.

My problems with gyro control again come down to implementation rather than function. From what I can tell, the gyros are accurate and sensitive and do everything they're supposed to. But you see, I like to lie down when I play handhelds. Usually on my side. And in Uncharted, tilting the console while climbing is interpreted as leaning. So while I'm lying on my right side, it's impossible for me to jump to the left; if I push the analogue stick all the way over, the best it'll do is counteract and neutralise the right-leaning I'm doing with the Vita itself. Yes, yes, it's hardly a major complaint, having to sit up to make jumps in the game. But I have a low tolerance for cold, and don't appreciate having to disentangle myself from my comfy blankets to progress.

Wow, I'm really making Uncharted sound awful, aren't I?

One last con, if you'll permit me: I have to admit that the aiming felt very awkward when I first started playing. If I were new to the series I would have assumed I just sucked, but I did beat UC3 on Crushing last month, so I'm pretty sure it's not just me. This was particularly frustrating for a few in-game events in which it was necessary to pick off several enemies within a very short time limit and/or with very little cover. But the good news is that over the course of the game I more or less got used to it. It's not ideal, but it works well enough.

Okay. I'm done.

Time to take a step back from the negativity for a moment. I'm trying to be as specific and detailed as possible about my experiences for you guys, which makes all my little quibbles sound disproportionately quibbly. The gripes I have with the way Uncharted uses the Vita's hardware are not huge things. They're annoying, but niggle-in-the-back-of-your-head annoying, rather than FUCK-THIS THROW-THE-CONSOLE-ACROSS-THE-ROOM annoying. Overall I enjoyed playing the game. Most of Uncharted's set pieces are there, even if some gameplay aspects aren't quite as complex as on the PS3: melee controls are simpler than UC3, enemies don't discover you if you find dead bodies, etc. (One good simplification was that Nate automatically picks up ammo for weapons he's already carrying; you don't have to worry about pressing the "collect weapon" button and picking up some other stupid gun by accident.)

The characters are still more believable than I've seen in most other games, ever - in their actions, animations and dialogue. Some lines genuinely made me laugh out loud. (There's one cutscene with a parrot. Poke the parrot. This is one of the few worthwhile uses of the touch screen.)

And the storyline was about par for the series, but I did really enjoy the way that treasure hunting actually served a purpose beyond satisfying the trinket-hoarding urges of Nathan "Magpie" Drake. Instead of collecting random bits of crap, most treasures are clues that go towards solving mysteries. Mysteries reveal more about the game's plot and back story. And instead of getting trophies for arbitrary numbers of treasures collected, you get trophies for completing mystery solutions. The overall effect is that more than ever before I got a sense of Nathan Drake, History Buff, not just Nathan Drake, Treasure-Hunting Thug. Which was nice.

So after all that, yes, I am very happy with my Vita purchase. I also really need to get back to working on my thesis, but I'll try to answer questions if people have them.

I almost can't believe it's come to this. It seems like minutes ago I was an undergrad. Hours ago I was in high school. And yet I'm sitting here in my room, actually writing my doctoral thesis.

I started my blog on IGN back in early 2005, during my third year at Cambridge. Back then I still had no idea whatsoever what to do when I finished my Master's. Back then most of my blog posts were me stressing out over exams, or gushing about my upcoming summer holiday plans. Going through my old blog I can read along over the course of the following year as I documented my initial thoughts that I might like to do a PhD, my doubts and questions, my final decision to apply to Tsukuba... and then I can follow right on through my entrance exams, my arrival in Japan, and everything I've been through since.

(One day I should go back and make some of my older posts public; they were all auto-hidden when the blog system transferred over.)

And here I am now with twenty-two days until my thesis is due. Twenty-two days to finish putting together the single piece of work that will represent everything I've done over the last three and a half years. It's kind of crazy how much of my blood, sweat and tears will have gone into this thing. (It's kind of crazy that I'm sitting here writing a blog post instead of working on it.)

So if I'm not around much from now until the end of January, here's where I'll be:

And here is an EXCITING SNEAK PREVIEW of one of my prettier diagrams (what can I say, I like colours):

I seriously cannot believe how much paperwork is needed to graduate from this bloody degree. FORMS, FORMS, AND MORE BLOODY FORMS. And that's not including the five copies of my thesis I've already had to distribute to various people.

On the plus side, this is now out of the way:

Those are just the simple paper-bound copies that were handed out to reviewers; the pretty leather-bound ones come later.

Now I just have to defend my thesis on February 13th, and I'll officially be a graduand. And have a lot more time to spend with you guys on MyIGN again.

A couple of days ago I reposted a blog entry I wrote almost five years ago, just after I made my final decision to apply to do my PhD in Japan. Since then I've been going through many of my older blog posts, and I've found myself reliving a lot of the experiences I've had during my time in Japan. This post ended up taking quite a different path to what I'd originally intended, but for what it's worth, this is what four years in Japan has been like for me. Quotes are all taken verbatim from old blog posts.

August 19, 2007, my last day at Cambridge: Never had I felt so independent, so terrified and yet so excited as I did when I first walked through the front gate of King's College as a student. Looking back on life in Melbourne, on who I would've been had I just moved on to Melbourne Uni with most of my school friends, I can't help but realise how incredibly small my world would have been. Rather than making me feel far from home, living in England has just made the entire world seem smaller, and now I really feel like I can go and do whatever the hell I like, in whatever country I choose.

This story really starts with my decision to move to the opposite side of the planet when I was 18 years old. That decision, and my experiences in England, opened doors I couldn't have imagined existing. It really did give me a sense of independence and self-confidence without which I would never have dared to try moving to a country as foreign as Japan. When I first left for Cambridge, I was more terrified than anything else - I had very little idea of where or how to start getting settled in to an entirely different country. When I left for Japan, I was mostly just excited about the upcoming challenge.

March 18, 2008: Tomorrow, I fly to Japan to begin my research PhD at the University of Tsukuba. It has been an absolute bureaucratic NIGHTMARE to get to this stage - don't even get me started on how many forms I've filled in since I started my application last June - and I almost can't believe I actually have all my papers in order and am leaving in the morning. The course goes for three years, and I won't be getting nearly as many holidays as I did during my undergrad and Master's, so I don't know when I'll next be able to visit home. But I'm really excited about this, even if I have nowhere to live yet.

Those first few weeks were a whirlwind of more bureaucratic bullshit, filling in forms, opening bank accounts, apartment-hunting, university entrance procedures, etc, etc. But I was coping, I was fairly confident, and even my language skills were serving me better than I'd expected.

March 25, 2008: On the plus side, I seem to be able to understand pretty much everything people are saying to me. Still lacking a bit of confidence in my own spoken Japanese, and *really* need to sit down and study some chemistry vocab, but otherwise I think I'm doing pretty well on the language front.

Right from the start, though, I had my frustrations and misgivings. I'd been to Japan several times before, so I'd known in advance that my appearance would always set me apart in Japanese society. I'd always known intellectually that Japan is a very homogeneous country, and that a lot of Japanese people haven't had much (if any) close personal contact with gaijin. I'd expected, to some extent, to encounter some strange opinions and different treatment - but I was surprised at how quickly it became frustrating.

April 9, 2008: This is something that's already really beginning to grate with me about the country - whenever I do something slightly different, it isn't "Kiera, you're strange," it's "Kiera, you're such a foreigner." Clearly nothing about me is individual, I'm only different because I'm from another country. I get this even with my close friends.

Obviously I understood none of this was malicious, but when you're working absurd hours every week, driving yourself to exhaustion, all those microaggressions start to take a toll. For the first time in my life I began to truly understand the privileged existence I'd had growing up as a caucasian in Australia. Again, I'd known intellectually that some of my friends with different backgrounds had to put up with behaviour that could be outright racist, but knowing and experiencing are two very, very different things.

The second thing that started to bother me was the long work hours.

May 11, 2008: I certainly don't have a problem with working long hours in the lab. What I do have a problem with, however, is sitting around in the lab when I have nothing whatsoever to do. For a country that's usually so good with efficiency, it all seems surprisingly inefficient.

This, again, was something I'd known to expect. Mum used to talk about her days working for the Japanese Consulate, where nobody would dare leave before the boss went home, just to give the appearance of dedication and commitment. In my lab I saw students "working" until 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning, then spending half the afternoon sleeping on their desks. I've heard stories of similar behaviour from friends working in other groups, and other professions in Japan: this is a culture where appearances are often treated as more important than results.

But my biggest problem with Japanese society by far - and one that I was wholly unprepared for - was the sexism.

June 21, 2008: I understand that at a professional level the trends in physiological differences between men and women mean it makes sense to separate sports by sex. But not at a game like this. I'd bet a lot of money that I'm stronger than at least half the guys in the lab group - at my housewarming party we somehow got into arm wrestling late in the evening, and I easily beat the few of them who were still there. They may be better than me at baseball, but that's not because I'm female, it's because I don't play baseball.

Having been relegated to right field (as the other girls also were, whenever we were fielding) I didn't have much to do during the second half of the innings except fume over this. Before we switched back to batting again, I actually asked a female friend why the pitcher throws underarm just for the girls. She simply replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world: "Because it's difficult to hit the ball."

When I say "sexism" here I'm not talking about malice. I'm not talking about overt bullshit like, "Women should stay in the kitchen." Sexism in Japan is subtler; it's genuine belief (held by both men and women) that gender roles are good for everyone, and it's an undercurrent of omnipresent disapproval directed towards people who subvert those roles.

To be fair, a similar sort of disapproval is directed towards people who overtly break any social conventions in Japan - this is a society that places massive, massive emphasis on the importance of conformity and social harmony. But having grown up in an environment where it was literally unthinkable for someone to discriminate against me because of my sex, I was shocked to be told to my face, "Girls don't play sports." I was shocked to hear, "You can't do that, it's not feminine." I was frustrated every time someone said, "Why are you single, you're so pretty!" And I was appalled when I was told, "Your intelligence will make it hard for you to get a boyfriend."

All this was compounded by a certain sense of isolation - I tried very, very hard to interact socially with the others in my lab, constantly inviting them to whatever I was doing, but it seemed most of them had very little interest in any kind of social lives. They were civil enough when I talked to them, but I always felt that they were colleagues rather than friends.

Just when I was starting to feel overwhelmed and downtrodden by all of this, I met a guy. Not in any romantic sense; he was a post-doc at another lab, and took me along to his favourite pub in Tsukuba the following week. There, I met a group of fellow gaijin who would become some of the best friends I've ever had.

Everything changed. The guy - Jeremy - was looking for a new place to live, and moved in as my housemate shortly afterwards. We got along brilliantly, and I started having lunch with my new friends regularly, and going along to the pub every week. As I finished my first year in Tsukuba, I was in a much happier place than I had been for those first few months. Having people who shared my frustrations and experiences in Japan to rant with (and drink with) was fantastic.

The only problem there was that many of the friends I made in Tsukuba were only around for shorter degrees, or even for a single year or semester on exchange.

February 21, 2010: That's the problem with throwing yourself into international communities, after all - people never stay, and you end up with friends scattered to the four corners of the globe, never knowing when you'll see them next. Don't get me wrong, I still think there's more good to it than bad: I've always forced myself to live outside my comfort zone, and overall the benefits have always been worth the stress. But in those stressful times it's hard not to crave the comfort of at least knowing that my friends will be around with me.

I've learned the hard way that all you can really do in these situations is make the best of what time you have together. I already have at least half a dozen goodbye parties pencilled into my diary for March, and that's to say nothing of whatever impromptu movie nights and dinners we throw together at the last minute. There'll be plenty of time to say goodbye, and as my mum reminded me in one of her wonderful emails, we live in an age where communication is incredibly easy, and you can hop on a plane and be almost anywhere within 24 hours.

Still, where I lost old friends, I gained new ones. My current housemate is one of the closest friends I've ever had, and I'd never have had the opportunity to get to know her this well if we weren't living together. Having several different housemates has also helped me to learn which personality traits I can cope with every day, and which ones I can't. It's helped me identify what I consider truly important in a close friendship.

I don't think my time in Japan has been quite as dramatically formative as my time in England was - but then, I was several years older when I first came to Japan. I've certainly had some ideas and expectations challenged, but more than anything I think the last few years have given me the opportunity to really cement who I am, to better understand my weaknesses and my limits, as well as my strengths.

I feel that I now have a much stronger sense of who I am, what I believe in, what I care about, and what drives me. These last four years have certainly been interesting, and they haven't always been enjoyable - but they've been an invaluable experience. I wouldn't change a single second of them if I could.

This meme can apply to pretty much anything, so feel free to take and repost it with whatever topic you like. I think I've done this before, but that was years ago, so whatever.

The steady: The West Wing. It took us a while to get together, probably because the show always seemed to be on at late and unpredictable hours back in Australia, but I always had a thing for it and as soon as I had the money I bought all seven seasons on DVD. I still regularly pick out favourite episodes to re-watch.

The ones you repeatedly cheat on your steady with: Pretty much anything. I'm a fandom slut, always getting sucked into new obsessions.

The one who gave you the best damned summer of your life and against whom you measure all other potential partners: Sherlock. Season 1 was the best three-episode fling I've ever had. Just when I was starting to feel like maybe my opinion of it was more nostalgia than truth, season 2 came along and blew my mind all over again.

The one who seduced you and fucked you over and broke your heart in a million pieces and laughed about it: Skins. Every damn time. I don't know why I continue to put myself through the emotional abuse. Even the happy episodes make me anxious about what's going to fuck everything up next.

The old flame you don't see very often any more but whom you still really enjoy getting together with for a few drinks and maybe a pleasant nostalgic romp in the sheets: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was my favourite show through high school and still holds a lot of nostalgia for me - I have fond memories of a long weekend spent watching a Season 3 ‘Slayerfest’ with my best friend and taping the whole thing on VHS. (Now I have the DVD box set.)

The alluring stranger whom you've flirted with at parties but have never gotten really serious with: Old Doctor Who. I've seen a lot of random episodes because it used to be on after school when I was a kid, but my knowledge of older Who is nowhere near as comprehensive as that of the show's 2005 revival.

The one you hang out with and have vague fantasies about maybe having a thing with but ultimately you're just good buddies 'cause the friendship is there but the chemistry ain't: Battlestar Galactica. I tried, I honestly did - watched the whole first season - but while it seems vaguely interesting, it totally failed to grab me.

The one you spent a whole weekend in bed with and who drank up all your liquor, and whom you'd still really like to fuck again although you're relieved he doesn't actually live in town: Summer Heights High. We had some fantastic times together, but I think if it had gone on too much longer the show would have lost its appeal.

The mysterious dark gothy one whom you used to sit up with talking until 3 a.m. at weird coffeehouses and with whom you were quite smitten until you realized he really was fucking crazy: The X-Files. Once upon a time it was my favourite show ever, but then it started going downhill and ended up utterly batshit insane.

The one your friends keep introducing you to and who seems like a hell of a cool guy except it's never really gone anywhere: Stargate. A lot of people whose opinions I tend to share are big Stargate fans, and have been trying to get me into the show for years. For some reason it always takes a back seat to other potential interests and I've never gotten around to properly checking it out.

The one who's slept with all your friends, and you keep looking at him and thinking, "Him? How the hell did he land all these cool babes?": The Wire. Seriously, I have no idea what the hell is so great about this show. I tried watching it, I really did, but was bored to tears after five episodes and gave up. It baffles me how so many friends that generally have similar tastes to mine love this show so damn much.

The one your friend has fallen for like a ton of bricks and whom she keeps babbling to you about on the phone for hours, and you'd be happy for her except you just know it's going to end badly: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I'm still gutted the show was cancelled, and can't help but feel a little bad every time I see someone just getting into the show, knowing it's only going to leave them frustrated and unfulfilled.

Your hot new flame: Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Started watching bits of to kill time and fell head-over-heels in love with the hilarious superhero shenanigans. AVENGERS, ASSEMBLE!

My housemate and I are terrible influences on each other. We've now encouraged each other's shallow, objectifying tendencies so far that we're more than willing to sit down and watch a movie solely to ogle the attractive men in it. Case in point: a 2011 romantic comedy called What's Your Number? Now, I make no secret of my general loathing of the genre, but Anna sold this film to me under the alternate title Chris Evans Gets Naked A Lot, so I agreed to see it with her. We did consume two bottles of wine and the better part of a bottle of tequila while forcing ourselves to sit through it, but at least on the Chris Evans front I certainly wasn't disappointed. Oh Captain, my Captain. Wait, where was I?

From what I remember of the plot, the film centred on a woman who was freaking out over the fact that (a) she had slept with 19 different men, and (b) some magazine had told her that women who've slept with 20 men have trouble finding serious relationships. Or something. What's Your Number? refers to your number of previous sexual partners; the crux of the matter was that she was making a big deal about her sexual history.

To the film's credit, Chris Evans' character was there to show that he didn't care about her sexual history and that she was being kind of ridiculous for obsessing about it. But a few days later the number-of-previous-partners topic came up again in some TV show we were watching. At this point Anna and I looked at each other and wondered, "Wait, do people actually care about this?"

Because it honestly doesn't bother me in the slightest if a man has had sex with three, or thirteen, or thirty different women. So long as he's honest with me, I don't give a damn what he's done in the past. One of my best friends has slept with over fifty women, but when he's in a long-term relationship, he is one hundred percent committed and unshakably loyal. I see nothing at all wrong with that.

And I expect the same understanding in return. I've talked to some people who say that a person who's had multiple sexual partners would make them jealous. To me, that smacks of a sort of insecurity that I'm not sure I could put up with in a relationship.

But as always, I'm curious to hear what everyone else thinks. Have you ever lied about your sexual history? If so, why? Does it bother you if a potential partner has had significantly more or less sexual experience than you? And if you're willing to share... what's your number?

Mine is 10.

I have about a zillion photos from my graduation ceremony today that I'll sort through later but for now:

PHD, BABY.

(Possibly the best thing about this degree is it means I will never have to use "Ms" ever again.)